Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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