the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
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do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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