sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
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I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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