And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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