i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
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no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
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I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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