It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize