One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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