I am puke
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
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The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
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He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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