i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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