And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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