Just fell off a train. Bad.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize