I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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