my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize