you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
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you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
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Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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