we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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