i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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