He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
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I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
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Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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