im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize