Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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