i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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