I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize