The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
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I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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