It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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