from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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