I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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