I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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