last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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