it hurts more in the daytime
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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