dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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