I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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