Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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