my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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