why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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