I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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