he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize