maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
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I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
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He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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