Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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