ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize