i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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