we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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