Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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