I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize