this beer tastes like vomit already
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fling myself into the sun
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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