He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
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It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
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Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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