my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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