Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
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i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
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A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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