This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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