Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize