it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
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It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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