I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
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she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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